January 13, 2017


Perhaps it’s because we’re juggling so many things these days, but time seems to be flying faster than usual.  The end of another year (how can that be?!?) and a peek into our December.

From the moment he was born, Peanut’s heart has been wide open to the world. Eye sparkling smiles and laughs at a couple weeks old, refusing to sit because he wanted to pull himself along by his soon-callused forearm to explore the floor around him, and now scaling all vertical objects to reach everything in sight.

At the spaghetti dinner for Robo’s school a few weeks ago, Peanut plowed to the center of the dance floor – enchanted by the booming base and the strobe lights and the elementary school children dancing wildly around him – entirely ignoring the dangers for crawling fingers.

He threw himself into his first experience with snow with the same fearless abandon, faithfully trudging through waist deep snow for over an hour. He may still be tiny, but it’s a complete joy to see him so enchanted with the world around him.

Siblings. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not always a walk in the park. We have our share of grabbing, hitting, and squabbles over minor injustices. But for whatever reason, this month the giggles seem to outweigh the tiffs and there have been many belly laughs at mutual silliness.

Yesterday I brought Peanut in after nap to wake Robo, who promptly curled into a ball of sleepy irritability. Peanut let out a crinkled-nose squeal at the sight of his brother and then leaned down to press his forehead and nose into Robo’s face. As I sat rubbing Robo’s back, Peanut kept leaning over to pat him, too.

I know many more challenges will arise as their relationship grows – but I’ll be darned if I don’t do everything in my power to tend this burgeoning relationship. It is one of my deepest hopes as a parent that I can support them in building a friendship that will sustain them well into adulthood.

Holidays. Most people get an afternoon or a day with extended family. We get five. Five days packed together under one roof. Five days of stories with Grandma, nestled together on the couch. Five days of wild airplane games with Grandpa, beginning before everyone is fully awake or showered. Five days of laughter, stories and board games late into the night, gorging on Grandma’s many tins of baked goods, and endlessly distracting the climbing toddler from the enticing breakables in the rented house; five days of presents, coloring with Aunt Meg, and rapping about three year old woes with Uncle Tim. While many days we wish our families were closer, we are so thankful for this time together.

Christmas is gone, and with it, our house. In many ways it feels silly to grieve a house. But this has been our home for six and a half years and these walls hold so many of our memories. It has seen us through our wedding, four graduations, three new jobs, a career shift, and the birth of our two boys.

But of all the memories, this exact spot is what I will miss the most. Robo and I spent days together here. Afternoon snacks at the counter. Dinner prep chopping side by side. Kitchen dance parties to an embarrassing blend of music. Intently listening to Robo try out new words as he learned to talk and began to tell me stories. The afternoon light through the sink windows where I learned about the magic of light.

And just as Peanut discovers the joy of this spot, just as he crawls madly to climb up and screams in frustration when he has to get down, we have to say goodbye.

I have faith we will make new traditions and memories in our next house – but my heart catches a little every time I think about having to leave this one.

To see more of this project, you can follow along from the beginning here.


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